Tuesday, December 27, 2011

A King by His Own Hand

Salt Lake City, Utah

My first guess as to the objective of this army was proven wrong soon after it it made its way into Salt Lake City.  I thought the great barbarian Conan, the greatest home run hitter in APBA history with 810, was going to overthrow the governor.  But I was spectacularly wrong.  First the army passed by the governor's mansion without incident.  Then I noticed that Governor Herbert was clad in plate mail, and had already joined as one of Conan's lieutenants!

The true objective, all along, was the site of Conan's greatest triumphs.  The Popcorn Dome, home of the Utes, and the site of Conan's greatest triumphs.  And now he leads an army against it.  After surrounding the dome, a messenger is sent inside with a list of Conan's demands.

Those looking forward to bloodshed would be disappointed this day, at least until the celebration feast.  The Dome took less than one hour to surrender and meet all demands.  Conan has claimed his place among the lords of APBA, as the new owner of the Utes!

Gary Redenbacher, grandson of original owner Orville, will remain with the team as president.  Long time general manager Gary Krause is forced out, and will take the long walk into the cursed earth.  Conan names Lou Zamuda as his new GM.  Redenbacher is reportedly very happy with the terms of the deal, as it allows him to keep his head.

It turns out the whole plan started a few weeks ago, when his accountant asked Conan if he would be interested in being a team owner some day.  He was expecting to get Conan to put up a portion of the fortune made during his playing days, and find a group of investors.  But Conan would hear none of that.  He decided if he would take ownership, he would do it the barbarian way.  And so he did.


At 11:17 AM EST, Anonymous Fred Lewis said...

Does this mean Fat Yoda is still alive? What a disappointment.


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