2013 Major League Playoffs – Division Series

Florida Penguins (92-70) vs. Portland Decepticons (98-64)

Game 1

Bart Riley gets the start for Florida, and in a surprise move, Portland opts to go with Justin Zoolander ahead of Roger Lewis.  The decision turns out to be a major mistake for Portland as Zoolander departs before the end of the second inning and yielding 7 runs to Florida (1.2-6-7-7-1-4).  Bart Riley dominates the Decepticons, going 7-2-1-1-2-4 for the 9-1 win.  Conn the Barbarian goes 3-5 and falls a single short of the cycle.  Reggie Stocker also homers for the Penguins.  One sour note, Florida centerfielder Gerald White Jr. gets injured in the bottom of the first on great catch to rob Zander Dukakis of extra bases, and to end the inning.  White will miss the rest of the playoffs unless Florida makes it to the World Series.

Game 2:

Chris Reyes (filling in for George White) gets the start for Florida opposing Roger Lewis.  The game is tied at 1 in the 4^th, when Gonk Droid and Rich Almanzar hit doubles off Reyes to give Portland a 2-1 lead.  The lead expands to 4-1 in the 5^th when Kal Chillingworth drives home DJ Werden and Zandar Dukakis with an RBI double.  Roger Lewis then continues to plow down the Penguin lineup and the score remains 4-1 in the 9^th.  Lewis exits the game for ace closer Jake Richardson, going 8-3-1-1-4-10.  The Penguins score 1 run off Richardson, but lose the game 4-2.  The series is now tied as we travel to Florida for Game 3.

Game 3:

Bill Drummond for Portland gets the call to face Doug Guzman.  Drummond is on his top form today, and dominates the Penguins over 8 shutout innings (8-5-0-0-3-8).  Jason Durazo does the damage for Portland with a double and homerun.  Florida allows Guzman to throw a complete game, going 9-7-5-5-2-10, throwing 148 pitches.  Portland wins game 3 by the final score of 5-0.

Game 4:

Portland decides to bring back Justin Zoolander on short rest after his game 1 flameout where he did not throw many pitches.  Peter Buchanon who pitched well against Toronto in the last series opposes him.  Before throwing his first pitch, Zoolander complains of shoulder soreness in his pitching arm, and has to leave the game.  He will be available to return should Portland make the World Series.  After Florida stacked their lineup with left-handed batters, Portland relieves Zoolander with lefty pitcher Joel Camels.  Camels allows one run in the first but seems to settle in.  In the top of the 2^nd, Portland explodes for 6 runs off Buchanon, highlighted by solo HRs by DJ Werden and Zandar Dukakis, and a 2-run 2-out double from Jason Durazo.  Buchanon leaves the game going 2-7-6-6-0-1.  In the bottom of the 2^nd, Florida gets right back into the game, scoring 3 runs off Camels, highlighted by a Reggie Stocker 2-run HR.  In the 6^th, Florida gets 1 more run to make it a 6-5 game and chase Joel Camels from the game (5.2-8-5-5-4-1).  In the bottom of the 7^th, Florida gets a rally to put runners on 1^st and 3^rd with 2 outs off reliever Kevin Ribaudo.  Portland decides the situation is too important and brings in Jake Richardson on a double switch for what they hope could be a 2+ inning save.  Richardson gets the dwarf Mitch Oakenshield to ground out to first to end the inning.  In the top of the 8^th, Portland loads up the bases against Grant Hansen.  Chris Burton gets a pinch hit single to score 1 run, and then Wes Hoover pinch runs for George Kird and scores on a Rich Almanzar sacrifice fly to make it 8-5.  Richardson then shuts down the Penguins in the 8^th, and gives up 1 baserunner in the 9^th.  Faced with a pinch-hit situation and down to their last out, Florida sends in the old man Gerald White, for what may be his final appearance in the Major Leagues.  White ground into a force play to end the game.  Portland wins 8-5, and wins the series 3-1.