Correcting the Record

A recent development has swept the nation, and I can hold my tongue no longer.  I am of course speaking of the newly released documentary series called "The Mandalorian", which is rife with misleading information and outright lies.

This documentary seeks to paint the Yoder species in a positive light, while disparaging my brethren.  The so called “Baby Yoda” is depicted as an innocent baby with both naive and altruistic tendencies.  It is also represented that the Yoder is an endangered species to be treated with special care and amazement.  Meanwhile, my brethren are shown as vandals with fierce red eyes to try to emphasize their place in the world as the "evil adversary".  This couldn’t be farther from the truth.

I seek to shed some light on what actually happened, as I know this through my ancestors.  First, to some, the Baby Yoda is considered cute.  I can assure you this is the minority position amongst those I consider knowledgeable about the subject.  Second, unfortunately, the Yoder is far from extinct. They are a public nuisance.  Where I come from, we have to hunt them in season to keep their numbers in check.  You know that old saying "to breed like rabbits"?  Well, rabbits know that saying as "to breed like Yoder".

The truth is that the Yoder are a disgusting smelly species. Can you imagine the smell of 50-year old Baby Yoda's diapers?  Good thing this isn't a scratch and smell book.

Meanwhile, my brethren are shown as ransacking a bounty hunters spaceship for no apparent reason. Hello?  That bounty hunter was illegally parked on tribal lands!  They also neglected to show the viewer that we reached out multiple times to remedy this situation to no avail.

After we had to repossess the only items of value from his piece of junk spaceship (many thought he had just abandoned the ship), he maliciously attacked our tribe. Despite killing some of my brethren, we still allowed him to pay the fine and get his parts back. But we are the evil ones?  With fearsome red eyes?  No, we are yellow-eyed creatures.  I demand the makers of this documentary send a formal apology note to all Jawa-kind.